Parents want to give their children only the best, but sometimes they unintentionally hurt them with their love and excessive protection. They send mixed signals, ignore the opinions of their children or break the rules they have set themselves and sometimes do not even realize it. And even if adults think well, such actions can make children feel confused and insecure about how they should and should not behave.
1. You can’t lie to people (but I can).
Never lie to me! – Your dress is amazing.
2. You have to sleep alone (but I don’t have to).
I don’t want to sleep alone. Stay with me for a while. – No, you’re really big for it.
I wish Mark was a dma sooner. I hate it when I have to sleep alone.
3. You can’t decide when you’re hungry and what you’re going to eat (and I can).
You won’t leave the table until you’ve eaten it all! – It’s okay to skip lunch for today.
4. You can’t spend hours staring at the phone (but I can do it).
You’ve been up for 30 minutes. It’s time to do something useful.
Let’s play. You’ve been sitting here like this for 2 hours.
5. You can’t be too hot or too cold (but I can).
The wind is freezing – I’m hot.
I’m going to wear this dress today. It’s not that cold again.
6. You have to be able to share (but I don’t).
You have to learn how to share! – That’s my phone. I won’t give it to you.
7. You must do immediately what I ask of you (and I don’t have to).
Go and water the flowers now. – I’ll do it when the movie is over.
8. I’m not interested in your feelings, but you have to take care of mine (even if I don’t do it myself).
I make me sad. Stop and come to the party. We promised it.
I don’t care if we promised! I’m not in the mood for this!
9. You should not be afraid of things that you will not affect or that have not happened (but I can do it).
Why are you so scared? You can’t change anything!
Sam will leave me. – it will rain. – He’ll fire me.
10. You should not be afraid to express yourself, but I am afraid of public opinion.
Just be yours! – Karen will laugh at me when I wear this.
So what? Now that all those situations are arranged nicely side by side and we hear it, it’s really very confusing. Then it can be really difficult for a child to understand how things work in the world and how he should or should not behave when his parents call him one but do the other. Let’s be careful!